


crispy goatman nipple

by orphan_account



Category: RWBY
Genre: CRACK SHIT, amputation mention heavy, and dw im bmblb through n through, author still doesnt know how to tag but this time it doesnt matter, dw about this, not tagging yang because this is not something i want showing up, yang's right hand is a prominent character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:35:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26094994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: adam's perspective on the fall of beacon
Relationships: Adam Taurus/Yang Xiao Long's Right Hand
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	crispy goatman nipple

**Author's Note:**

> i hate being alive.

Adam wasn’t having very good of a day. First, he woke up late and almost missed his cue to walk into Beacon for the dramatic reveal he’d planned. Then, he couldn’t even find his waifu, his perfect catgirl, his Blakey, until he was already out of breath and very glad for his mask hiding how sweaty he was. Or maybe the flames were masking that, it was a bit hot in there with all the fire. The worst part of his day, though, was when Blake said that she didn’t want to come back with him. “HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME??” He raged, like a 12 year old who just lost fifteen games of Fortnite in a row and couldn’t understand that he was a noob. At least he got that girl’s arm, though, the fire-coloured one. Was she on fire? He couldn’t really tell. He only had one eye, and was looking through a whole bunch of smoke through a mask with, like, two slits in it to look through. He couldn’t even tell that Blake was really gone until he realized everything in front of him was red, and it wasn’t because of his semblance, which he totally should have used on her head. In the middle of all the red, though, he saw a flash of yellow. Yellow? What the hell was yellow doing here? So he bent down and picked up the yellow thing and- That is an arm. That was an arm. It was that fire-coloured girl’s arm that he cut off. He took the arm, turned it around, and slowly grasped the hand in his, moving it up and down. “Howdy, Yellow,” he muttered. “Nice to meet you.” Then, he realized the possibilities, and immediately forgot about the Grimm and shit outside. He dragged the limp hand down his body, and unfastened his nipple zipper. He poked his crispy left goatman nipple and wiggled the hand against his crotch. He pulled down the zipper of his actual pants, this time revealing no new crispy nipples but a Man Pole. The Pole Of Men. It was made of flesh, as they all are, and he wiggled the hand faster against it, gripping the Long Meat Schlong as it refused to harden. Maybe this was why Blakey left him, he reasoned, no girl wants to be around erectile dysfunction. Or maybe that was just her. She just couldn't accept his warm uncooked sausage in its full limp glory and so she left him. "AAarrrgh!!" He screamed, momentarily forgetting about his unzipped zipper and waving the arm around above his head. "Nooo!!! Why!!! You shouldn't have left me Blakeyyy!! I gave you sO MUCH MORE THAN THOSE BONEY-SAUSAGED GUYS!!! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME!!! HOW!!!??" When he was done, he sniffled and thought about how he pushed his mom away on the last day he ever saw her, and without a second thought, he turned the arm on himself and draped it over his shoulder like an extremely weak hug from someone who didn't know what a hug was. Unfortunately, he didn't realize that dead arm does not equal dead gun, and triggered Ember Celica - one of the two - to go off, right into his head, because his positioning was horrible and that's not how a hug should look. Adam died as he lived, crying with his dick out surrounded by fire.

**Author's Note:**

> yang, jolting awake: what the Fuck


End file.
